LOGIC TO PONDER
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
What do they use to ship styrofoam?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
"If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
What do batteries run on?
What does ignorant mean?
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pitbull.
When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the dwarfs began to suspect "Hungry"
Where does weight go when you lose it?

Why aren't there many Hannukah specials on tv?
Why be a man when you can be a success?
Why can't we just spell it orderves?

Why do they tell us to watch "The Today Show" tomorrow?
Why do we read left to right yet turn pages right to left?
Why does it matter if we all put our pants on one leg at a time?
Why get even, when you can get odd?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled "palindromeemordnilap"?

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How do I set my laser printer for stun?
How do you get holy water?
How do you know it's summer in Seattle? Rain's warm!

How do you make Windows faster ? Throw it harder
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? From a catalog!
How does one expect the unexpected?
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!
How many weeks are there in a light year?